Almost Happy
by Animegirl101100
Summary: well Roy... is depicting his feelings for Ed.. this isn't exactly the couple i had imagined when i wrote it.. but It works sooo much better then my previous thoughts.. plus! I totally made it slightly shounen ai.. its not exactly hardcore so its just sweet.
1. Almost Happy

**Almost Happy?**

He looks at me. To my surprise his face has a softness that I never would have imagined him to aim at me.

I blush and avert my eyes quick as a deer. Ah, he's embarrassed and he looked away too. My face is hot, from all of the blood rushing to my face. I turn my eyes toward him, and he's glancing at me too. Is this happening? I can't believe it. Should I go up to him? Or will he walk up to me? Ah I don't know. All I can do is hope for some sort of miracle and that something unbelievable will happen.

This time when we catch each other's sights, his eyes lock with mine. I feel warm, and embarrassed.

Oh he's adorable, his cheeks are red too. At least now I know that I'm not alone in this, feeling insecure. One thing is for certain. He's now looking at me, like I had always been looking at him.

I begin to form a smile. He smiles the sweetest smile in my direction. It was a greeting of pure joy and happiness. What more could I ask for?

Always I had hoped that one day we would end up together, having seen the light of the inevitable. Yet he always seemed to slip away right through my fingers, straight past my side. It's hard to tell if this is real, because miracles don't happen in reality; there are only happy and well received coincidences.

Maybe these feelings had finally sunk in and were set deeper than ever, and that's why I'm placing so much hope in this dreamy reality. Had he finally noticed my earnest sentiments? I move toward him sceptically, with a heart brimming with hope. He smiles, and opens his arms widely toward me. It's as though he is beckoning me to his side.

I feel compelled and move in to his broad chest. I feel comfortable, secure and wonderful. This is happening. Wait he is holding me so firmly, what's wrong? He sighs and breathes out deeply, as though he had finally won that prize in the crane game.

I feel treasured. Had he been thinking of me in such a manner? I redden at the thought. I look into his face; he looks so peaceful and full of bliss. I think to myself, ah this is the man I love. Why didn't I try before? I was scared of rejection and getting hurt. I couldn't bear the thought of him laughing in my face or just saying no flat out. A coward is what I am. Yet thankfully we are together now.

I take my face and bury it within his chest, so warm and comforting. I think this is love. It's sweet and innocent, and definitely full of potential.

So why is it that I can't get my mind over the fact that this could all be a dream, a happy, happy, magnificently, blissful dream.

With that thought, I hear a loud ringing sound. I go to it and when I reach it, I open my eyes. I can't believe I dreamed this again. It feels more real every time. Gentle tears flow from my eyes. I'm weeping. After a while I wipe my eyes dry, and get out of bed, in order to see him smile at someone else when I see him today.

**THE END**


	2. Awkward Encounter

**Awkward Encounter**

Yet another busy day at central I think as I flick a speck of dust off of my desk. I'm too focused on him. I can hardly think of anything else but him! I sigh deeply as though I've remembered how to breathe. I can't do my tasks and am on edge.

Why won't he look in my direction? I'm good enough.. or at least I would think so. I'm stronger than he is, and taller and more attractive… to anyone but me; because to me he is the most beautiful thing in this world full of deceit and tragedy. I couldn't even imagine a world without him.

I drop everything, and take a huge breath. I see him. He just walked in. I feel my heart tighten faster than a rabbit running for its life. I clench my teeth, and shut my eyes. I can't take this pain.

I hope and wish in my heart that when my eyes open, he will have passed through. Then I think to myself.. What if he stays and he sees how I'm acting? Or if he decides to come over to my sector and just plain ignore me. That is not happening.

I feel courage surge through my body and I open my eyes. He's still there, smiling his gorgeous smile.

I feel my throat dry, and rub my neck. Trying to act as composed as any person possibly could in this awkward situation.

I can't even think of telling him my feelings, for fear of what he would think of me. I with all of my sincerity cannot imagine a life without him by my side.

Yet I shall. Things will work out. I can get over this bump in the road. Sort out my feelings and see a new truth. I am a strong person. That needs no man to be happy. It's just that it would be a fantastic addition to my happiness, if I had someone to share my joyful life with.

Why can't I find anyone else? Why is that spot reserved for him? I shouldn't hold out any hope for him. He wouldn't understand. He doesn't know how deep and true these feelings are.

Plus he has someone else in mind to share his life with and I am pretty sure that that position is not for me.

What a sad realization. The feelings of wanting something, that won't and never will be yours, how depressing these facts are.

He sees me. He smiles. I focus and put all of my energy into putting a big grin on my face.

He waves and turns around. I wave back, holding back tears that are just trying to burst out from my eyes. No I can hold these feelings back. Hopefully that dream won't happen again, and I can move on with my life.

Truthfully I still hold back hope. A small shred of it is lodged in the back side of my heart.

I lay my head down on my desk and pray that the day ends sooner.

**The End**


	3. Remembering

**Remembering  
**  
How is he doing? Is he okay? I haven't seen him for days. I am feeling lonely and slightly cold. I wish I could hold him in my arms to remember the sensation and keep it in my heart forever. As a fond memory not as a cold reminder that he wont ever be mine.

I wish he was here. Right beside me. Maybe smiling and laughing and him going to hold my hand. A nice light feeling of happiness would overthrow my heart if he held my hand. Just thinking of him is making my heart pound deeply like an old grandfather clock.

My time speeding up with every little thing he says or does, and slowing down with every thought of a cold shoulder. I feel as though moving on is what I should do and yet hope is holding onto the walls of my stubborn heart and showing no signs of ever lessening its grip. He has a tight hold on my emotions.

I wonder if he knows and just isn't saying anything to see my reactions. If so that is incredibly cruel. No, he's not the type of person to enjoy seeing another person's pain. He is a good person. That's why this is so hard. He doesn't make it easy to forget his sweetness. It's because he isn't evil that I can care for him as much as I do.

No faults, makes it hard to stay away from him. Why did he smile at me that day? It struck me so hard. I was gone. It will take so much effort to get him out of my head. If that's even still a possibility. I may be too far in.. love with him. I didn't plan it. I swear. It just happened! He is just too much sometimes.

I can't deny these feelings because that in turn, would be denying myself, and that doesn't mean good things for me. I would rather hold these thoughts closely and dearly to my heart. So I can look back on them with a smile. Right now it's my fondest wish.


End file.
